The girl with a Thai-hair cut

"She looked really pretty among the girls and few boys. We were there to celebrate the Saturday morning. A morning after rain, laughter of my friends under Jacaranda tree and its floating smell, the combination was wonderful. The maroon colored sun was uplifting the soul of everything. Green leaves, wet purple blue flowers, dewdrops down on the grass, somersaulting children (One of them was me) and many more…was reflecting each and every colors. And the experience was like inhaling  a real ecstasy.We were circling the tree with a hand curved in the stem, sliding on the bark…One after another……another after that one…..with the giggles.....can't realize who was chasing whom. Between them she was the beautiful one, her waving hairs with Thai-cuts, her delighting expression."

Woah, I just realized it was my childhood crush. This very picture rolled in my head today when I saw a little girl with bunch of children playing and giggling. It was probably one of the best moments of my childhood but I am not sure if it really happened. Anyway we all had moments ; sweet or bitter. The only thing we have do is relate and connect :)

It was She.

                                                                                                   Writer: Mahesh Aryal      

Chapter: 1(Late night call …….)

"Kush baby, aren’t you going to bed today?"” Bimlesh cried to me as I was disturbing him sitting late night.

“Yup, five minutes more Bimlesh to close my assignment file, just five minutes more." I acted as if I was doing something like crime sitting so late and apologizing for that.

One thing about the homework’s and project works is that you can give a time to it only a night before its presentation.

Beep…! Beep….! The mobile rang on my study table. I found myself hanging on the table sitting in a chair.

I adjusted myself and again dozed .Beep…! Beep………! The mobile rang again.

“Who the hell…… is that at this midnight?" I difficultly opened my eyes and shouted.

Beep…! Beep….!  The mobile rang again. There were already four missed calls .I felt the phone ringing more loudly than usually.

“Ass…..” I murmured. At last I reached my cell phone.

“Hello, who is that?”

“Hi, I am Anushka, are you Shreya?”

Girrrrrrrrl….I became quite excited and became awaken. I don’t know what boys find something exciting in girls.

“Sorry, I am Kush and I really don’t know the Shreya you are searching for.” I answered her in a sorry voice.

“Don’t you know she works in Nabil bank, Kathmandu?”

I clarified her that there is no such person over there.

The next day I became ready for my college as usual. Before leaving my room I stood in front of mirror and smiled looking my image.

“Is there any girl for this guy? “, thinking that I went to college that day but couldn't forget yester-night’s conversation.

Chapter: 2 (The college girl)

“Hello, Can I get the way?" a college dressed young girl cried next to me.

She was in navy blue skirt, grey shirt with same colored sweater. Her face was partly covered with a green scarf.

“Huh!"I replied.

“I am sorry, Can I get the way?”She asked for a way to have next to me.

It was my usual college trip after I joined +2 in Kathmandu. But there were many usual but inconvenient experiences about the college trips on city buses. One is that you can't get city bus in time; another if you get it fortunately you can't have a seat. Luckily, it was a rare lucky day for me.

“Yeah, get it please?"I replied.

I gave her a seat next to walking lane and took a sit next to her near to the window. I thought my trip was going to be interesting one. But there was also a reason in choosing a seat next to the window because you can enjoy the scenario if you haven't anything interesting to do. It's better than remaining silence for minutes like hours when you are next to a stranger.

She was wearing grey stockings which paired my pants. She was fair and smiling with curly hairs, part of it was sticking on her nose with the specs.

The very boring thing happened then. I looked towards the window, she turned away. We were very helpless to start a conversation .I stared her image at the windows. I felt as if she was also looking at me.

One thing about the presence of girl next to you have a certain type of induction which makes you feel serious and thinking something. Moreover if a beautiful girl sits next to you, you may feel fixed in your seat.

She gave me a strange look. I again removed my eyes to the walls of the bus. She was engaged on her cell phone.

I felt that she was giving me damn care.

I thought to ask her where she was going and what was the time, she suddenly stood up to get off from the bus.

“Bullshit" I said in a very small volume. I didn't know how that word came.

“What?”She cried.

“Oh! Not anything, bye!" I replied smiling. She also smiled in a surprise and departed. That was the only sucking smile I get from her that day.

The days went on like that. The busy schedules, exploiting integration, I had nothing to do except that.

Chapter: 3 (Again a Call…….)

One night I had a phone call again.

I picked it up and started.

“Hello who is that?”

“I am that who you may not have known or forgotten, do you remember Anushka?"

“Oh! Hello, I am sorry I could not recognize you."

 I am in surprise why boys feel so fast sorry in front of girls.

 A silence remained for few seconds but I hated silence.

“How do you do, Anushka"

“I am at least fine, you felt disturbed that night. I am calling you to apologize for that night.”

"Nup! That’s not a problem and what is in that at least. Are you ok fren! , Can I say you friend?” I tried to make us friendlier.

“That’s not your problem fren...I felt better with that fren."

“Yup, not much older to solve all that, am I right Miss Anushka.” I felt something close to her.

“Better to say bye Kush, keep on calling.”

She hung up I think giving damn care to me.

Chapter: 4 (Again that College Girl)

After few days the same silent girl seemed in a bus. She had a physics practical note and a book with a big bold E=mc² on her right hand, and a blue bag on another hand. The big problem was that I didn’t have any vacant seat next to me. She was trying to make her easy by leaning on the seat next to me. I didn't show any courage to ask her to have seat or ask her to give me her books to hold.

“Hi, can you hold this bag for minutes." She asked me for help.

I became quite nervous about an idea of help but I ejected my hands to hold her bag. I became sure that she had forgotten our previous boring trip. I also told her to give her book also but she denied.

“Give it to me.”  I told her as I felt that she was feeling difficulty to stand with those books. I did not know why this feeling of pity came for her .She gave me her books then. I relief reflected from her beautiful eyes. I stared to them for few more seconds.

“Hello Can I get my bag.”She said in a thankful voice.

"Thank you ....."She said and took her things.

She leaved the bus in the same station at Gausala as before.

I gave her a welcome smile .I found a card on the floor named Anu Bhatia. I found the vast differences in her real self and photograph.

                                 

Chapter: 5, (Kush gave a call…….)

“Hello, Anushka how are you, Fine?”

“Oh! Kush thanks for remembering me!”She screamed in a loud voice.

"How was your day…?"

“Fine and yours..!”

“As usual…"

“And how about your study buddy, what are you studying, where?" she asked.

"Management at Gausala….!”

"Oh I am at Chabbhil "she told me as if she was very happy.

“In which level Kush "she asked me.

“Eleven……” I feel proud thinking that I am grown up now.

“And you?”

“Same level, science but I am not good one.” She answered with her beautiful laugh.

"Seeeeeeee you, my mama is coming.” she tried to end the call.

“Wait why are you so hurry to say bye every time, I…..”I tried to stop her to hang up.

“Better to chat next day, bye…Good night.’’ She cut my sentence and hung up.

We began to talk to each other once a day usually. We shared problems and other personal stuffs.   In our chatting we usually have question like how was the day, how was your presentation, why are you listening depressed today! When are we meeting? Etc. I really felt she wanted me but I was not so serious about that. The problem was that I have not seen her.

Chapter 6: (A Situation ………..)

As usual the days were normal. One day I met Anu Bhatia. That day she was next to me across the walking lane. I called her and gave her id card. After that silence broke off and a new friendship started. I used to reserve her seat or help her by holding her bag and sometime leaving a seat for her. I don't know how I began to like her. One day I proposed her. I didn't expect ‘no’ but it was a big ‘NO’." It is not love Mukesh it is only a friend ship." she answered me.

 I don’t know how girl feels so easy to say these lines.

She also told me that she was in love with someone else.

Chapter: 7(Its a real situation ……..)

I didn't answer Anushka’s call for next four days. Yeah, it is really hard to bear agony of rejection.

The next morning a phone call came. 

“Hello Kush this is Anushka, what happened to u huh? Why are you not receiving my phone and what do think, Can you give up your friend easily?” She cried on me in anger tone.

I told her that I had just faced a rejection and sorry for not receiving phone calls of her. I cried in front of her first time.

“Don’t you feel someone really cares for you?”She said me.

 She called me to meet each other for the first time.

“Don’t you feel I am mean?" I asked her.

“Whatever it be I want you and I will wait for you. Ok, see you at 5 tomorrow at dream garden.”

I also felt that I need her.

"Love you, Anushka” I cried.

“You are a boy Na, I will be there waiting for u.”She laughed at me.

“Good night and care you” she said.

"Same for u” I replied.

Chapter: 8 (It’s going to be A PASSIONATE CLIMAX)

Next morning I became ready to usual trip to my college but it would be different one because I goanna see her and that would be a new daybreak in my life.

Anu was also on same bus with her college uniform in addition she was wearing a heart shaped big hair clip but almost at last seat. As usual she left at the same stop.

 At 5:00, I reached dream garden and bought a ticket. I went inside. I never imagined it was such a gorgeous place. But I was only expecting her.

I saw a girl with the rose wearing college dress like Anu wears. With my throbbing heart, I went to her.

“Anushka…!" I called her. She turned to me. I didn’t believe it was the same Anu.

"Oh! Kush…...”

She came to me and gave me a tight hug I never felt before and kissed and kissed.

Nature equals to you and you equal to nature!

Mahesh Aryal

www.PhilosophicalRealm.blogspot.com

Nature within you

Early in the morning of this winter my way to grocery was almost covered with frost. It must be the coldest morning I experienced this winter without sun while my watch ticked 9.45. Probably the rain helped remarkably to reduce the temperature of nature (Just amusing the nature by uttering the word ‘heat’). With the fog on my head, I was walking without winter cap and gloves. I got pockets of my tracks for my hands but I got nothing for my head. For an instant I thought if I could bend my vertebrae up to the deep pockets.

I just moved taking the part of cold from the air or giving off the part of the heat to the air whirling around me, little grasses and others. I was thinking less and moving fast but who can stop the roaming thought inside the human skull? I compared all these situations to the fate, fate of being chilled.

Have you ever experienced a moment, a moment like a heart shivering cold strikes you in the morning like that when you are out with a mentality of being inside room? Okay! Imagine that you are just plunging into the cool air from the rare of your inside room.

(Shhh...Imagine that coldness) Sometimes people have to deal with such situations in the way of their lives which discovers a feeling inside your heart; this is a huge impossible Shit!

I don’t want to analyze the way of happiness or the events like why a woman nearby my house with two kids poisoned herself to the death, why a college girl cuts her veins to the death and many more. Saying these things somewhere in my heart, I reasoned these things to the series of thought. Actually this is the human nature that always wanted a harmony and good reasoning for everything.

Nowadays, I have found myself many times emphasizing on the nature being influenced by the philosophy that everything happening in the earth (What we called) is a part of the nature. Even what I am thinking right now is the part of the nature, which is again happening inside this huge nature. Each and every component is mini-nature functioned by natural laws. Somehow everyone is contributing to nature. The changes in weather, frame of the mind etc. are pictures of nature. They build their courses and what we define them as destiny.

Sometimes human emotions, like a changing weather turn the worst. Let’s make it simple. (We always wanted that.) For few seconds, let it be on their way. Let it be on their fate. It is always very easy to describe them as a fate. But I believe that the fate is a way or path carved by moments, series of such moments, that a human or the part of the nature lives with.

Why the worse then? Why to expect it to be always good? Is the ultimate destiny of the fate same? At this stage we may have different opinions about all these issues because we are moving with different sets of nature within us.

May be good or worse or good plus worse it will be a fate, a path of such moments, series of such moments and a destiny. I still remember it’s a nature of the function that determines the outcome, which I was taught in the 9^th grade of my high school.

At the same time, I am trying to synthesize good things in my way. (It’s a human quality, because that is the only way of being happy.) Once I was talking with bunch of my friends. We were discussing over many issues about the nature. One of my friends told me you seem to be well known about the nature. In a joke I told them a verse of Socrates “I know something, that is nothing.” After saying that I was compelled to think that if we can even know the nature within ourselves we can figure out the whole nature.

The wild cold and toxic mentality that freezes lives and emotions, sometimes lead to the worst fate (So assumed worse). [Now I am still unknown about the ultimate fate or there might not be anything like that, it will be obviously another topic to be discussed.]

After getting milk pouch, I returned home running. It’s a best method to forget the cold and get you charged by the waves of heat. I handed it to my mom, went inside the quilt.

I felt that my cerebrum freezing inside 1450 cc box. After sometime I again started thinking.

Like nature cycle, cycles of emotions move ascribing the same laws. That is what I believe. The fate is described how the moments we live move with those things. It’s not that hard, but once again a lesson for all being to realize and learn to understand the nature or you.

Ultimately, we love that warmth ( Imagine all those things that uplift, joy you, your heart and soul, at least there must be one thing at that moment.) which we think can heal everything.