Writer: Mahesh Aryal
She
waved her hands with lots of memories of her time with whom she spent
nearly two years. Really! Some memories don't die out which a man
contemplates. She was in rush that day but she wasn't contorted. She
used to feel that her life was quite boring but some warmth began to
overwhelm her, blow her that day. That day it was her last day of her
college and stay with her nearest one .She had to do a trip which she
thought would really be an interesting and challenging. Yeah! It was her
trip for future. She became ready to in crave a good bye to Pokhara, a
city of love, inspiration and intimacy.
Everyone dreams
but there are some peculiar dreams that are never forgettable, they just
overcome. Everyone around her was dreaming visualizing future day's but
she had an only dream to peep that daybreak where actually it was. She
didn't think that she was a normal or an ordinary girl but her
performance wasn't quite appreciable to her good wishers because they
expected bit more from her. Some special memories which she left with
her friends, teachers and people weren't unappreciable too. But reality
which she was facing was more dominating than these other things. In her
mind there was only thing to do because she had to move ahead in the
search of her way, a real destiny of her life.
The gold
line overcame the rim of the hills. She was on the way to her destiny.
She used to walk that way everyday. It was a calm evening. The sun
appeared focusing her between the vast worlds. The soft breeze caused a
leaf to fall down .She felt herself as a chosen one. Suddenly the tears
rolled down and fell on that leaf. She stood on her knees and picked it
up into her bag.
"Rush Kush! Rush!" I got a text and four
missed call notification which I didn't picked up. I was in the city bus
before setting our destiny to Kathmandu.
I got the call again and slide my middle finger on the screen to receive Nashree's call.
"Hello Nashree! I am in front of you near to the bus stop in between the bars" I shouted. She cut her phone.
She might have listened me without phone.
She
was in white and pink kurti, white shawl encircling her white face with
red cheeks and her usual friendship band and a shiny citizen watch on
her wrist. She looked really amazing that night. Nashree was with her
mother full with tears, a normal tradition of Nepali mothers. I was with
my father holding yellow, green bags.
It was almost 9 pm when my father asked her "Are you ready for your journey beta?"
She smiled with her red cheeks. Her dimples seemed as if some one had made a hole on her cheeks. However it was wonderful.
"Yes! Uncle." she replied.
The environment became emotional then. We did some family talks, hugged our parents and gave a good bye kiss.
My
father had arranged tickets for us at the middle part of the bus. The
seats were quite inconvenient. The journey begun, we remained silent.
But I hated that silence.
"How was your exam?"
Before her answer came I said it was good na.
"You are lucky to be with him in the board examination." I added.
"I don't think so and what does that luck means." she seemed quite angry.
"And listen Kush he had a good fortune to be with me okay!" she added.
"Why are you angry girl? I am ...."
"I am going to give you a blow if you are talking about it again."
"Oh, I'm really sorry! I acted as if I am really frightened.
She smiled on me. I was thinking that what a sorry can't make.
The
environment became cool then. Afterward I just hung up with informal
talks and her boring, lazy and worried face until the midway of her
journey. She dozed on my shoulder. I let her do that. But I was out
of
sleep. I found nothing to do except a red dairy of her and some
chocolates in her blue bag. I then thought my trip is going to be
interesting.
Happiness may come to you this year
We will brighten our love more my dear
Lots of smile and lots of love
Lets be together, thee and me...
I don't know to whom it was dedicated to .There was a smiley face with glittering blue color.
I turned the page and found the date 2066/05/02 and a poem again
What is the cause I like you?
What is the reason I love?
Spring become worthless looking at you
Days dreams begins and end on you..
Then second stanza came.
Looking mountains and birds pair in the sky
I always think you and me so high.
So higher dancing and roaming in the forest
Wishing the result thinking to harvest…
Like
that my eyes reached onto 4th stanza and to the end. I realized
something was happening to her. Her head was still on my shoulder.
Everything what I behold
Are just changing
Time changed and destiny has changed
And the weather we observing...
The second...
The third and
The fourth...
And the fifth was,
My hands are compelled
To stay inside my palm
They can't receive your hand
But still may remember that warm and charm...
The
diary became more mysterious. I couldn't realize what is happening to
her right now. I also read other written text and again faced a poem
titled.
A fairy star I loved...
It'd be better if the sky
Gives him a place
If not he will fall to die
And will be vanished from all of us...
If he can't be seen there
I can't live here
It will lead me to jump
On the fire of death
If you sky not receive my heart
You can't see your others
Only you will get full of shyness
Because you will be naked for darkness...
Then nobody will look at you
Neither moon sun nor another do
And you will be alone
Like me and my sisters...
But I can't be happy either
Because I lose your warmth.
And love and faith of her
And I will be unfulfilled forever....
It
was about 1:35 pm. she suddenly changed her position .I was nearly
shocked .Luckily she closed her innocent eyes. I looked more beautiful. I
got rest.
If you are listening me
Look down I am beholding you
Praying and knocking for the door
So, I could get some special place for my star
My ever shining star...
As the poem ended I became more emotional. After that
the diary changed its story. My eyes wetted. I couldn't stop.
Like the prisoner in the cage
In the cage of fire and hurt
I am engulfed in the shoal
In the shoal of death...
The diaphanous weather changed
I almost in the mystery
The calamity of the air is lost
In the search of sagacity..
The suavity of blown off leaves
Has lost on the rude jungles
The spirit of brine turned off
And she is confined in the cievice
The sky is whimpering
I'm not brazen by
The rhythm of birds songs are not hearken
Because my heart is really broken
Not only me you might be thinking
Feeling you alone between the people
There is no person to touch you
To touch your soul and make you alive...
I
didn't know what real story was but she was in trouble anyway. She
tried many things but she couldn't get satisfied. At the end of diary
there was a massage from smiley dated 2065/03/22
The night is dark
Thunder to rain
You came in my dream
again and again
No moon in the sky
No friend to talk
I think in my life
There is no luck
Writing for a letter
Waiting for your call
I don't know dear
I wept alone...
My
eyes stopped and the diary closed. In that trip I really realized
someone's inner heart but couldn't find any idea to solve these types of
problems.
Last Bhadra 12, I met her .She was happy.
I asked her a question "How are the days going on?"
She knew that I have studied her. She just answered me
"First love isn't to forgot, it's to be realized."
MKush as writer
